live to love...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

holiday. divorce. drinks. fml.

Thanksgiving was the first holiday I had to spend seperated and it wasnt even that bad. It was rough not being around my family, but I have friends here that totally made up for it. Next on the list is the old 4 year anniversary. WHYYY did i get married around christmas geez!?! So, because I am trying to stay away from alcohol unless I am at a party I need to come up with some interesting things to occupy my mind so that I dont end up an alcoholic...Sooo that takes me to my library card, school registration, window shopping, and writing. I am on hold on my book thanks to the divorce. grr. its locked up on "D's" computer and I havent been able to find the file to download it on my flashdrive. And i move sunday to my new house and I am going to have one last stab at downloading it. after that I wont have to see Derrick  "D" ever again except to meet me at the courthouse to pay his half of filing fee. I am sad to pieces that we cant stay friends but every day I realize how much happier I am being me, doing what I want to do, and pursuing my dreams of going to school for what "I" want to do. this is such an easy thing that it almost makes me wonder if I am not heartless. hmm. maybe i DONT have a heart. cool. now no one can break what I dont have. so. now I have to get through Dec 23 (anniversary), Dec 24 & 25, for obvious reasons. and then Im clear. Because NEW YEARS will be here. And i LOOOVE NYE. so -xo- cross your fingers.

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