live to love...

Friday, February 25, 2011

bleeding breaking

my heart and head hurt so bad. I am so full of pain and i dont know from what. Maybe I am confusing pain with PMS??? I freaked out this morning when I realized my period is late. Oh. EMM. Geee. took the pregnancy test. its negative (thank Gawdd). The reason i took the test at work is because Mandy pissed me off to the (A)point of punching her fresh brace face or (B)crying like a little bitch. So todays our meeting with LeeAnn where we decide that I need to be here exactly at 8am, not 8:07 and that Mandys still okay to work til whenever the fuck she feels like it. (by work I mean come in and research places to live and jobs in Kansas City where she still hasnt told out boss shes moving in March. ) Also I am taking off the Fridays that coincide with friend boy's weeks off so I can booze with him or just hang out and not come in the following day. Oh neat-o. Mandy just so happens to need it off because shes needing an IUD up her snatch. uhm, if you wont see the boy friend until May, why do you need it EXACTLY on my day off. bitch. anyways. after our meeting I had 3 voicemails on my work phone and Mandy felt that I cant do my job so she would do it for me. bitch. so now im walking around outside because I am going to slap-a-ho. So then my finance company for my car calls and says that they never received insurence when I bought the car and uh, WHAT? i have been paying the ex husband 75.00 a month since DECEMBER for insurance through Farmers. So I call them and they say he dropped me from the policy back in December. fucking great. and I had to pay 1300.00 for my health insurence because I was paying them and they turned me over to a bank and I have been sending my payments to RMHP but they apply my payments to THIS YEARS deductable not the one at the bank so the bank sold my account BACK to RMHP from last year and if I hadnt paid them the full amount they were dropping me. OH AND....seriously. I owe...well the ex and I owe the IRS 1900.00 for 2010 since D. earned over 53,000 last year and putting us into a new tax bracket for some reason we owed. fucking seriously. all of this. all of this and this is TODAY and its only 3pm. So I wanted to leave early but Mandy wants to go to the gym. fuckiiiiiiin. so she leaves. i pop a xanax and pray to God my head doesnt fall off. I just learned I have NO car insurance, my tags are due and I cant pay since I just moved to my own place and paid 200 for 1/2 feb at the old place. 1000.00 for Feb at the new place and I have to pay rent again because I dont get paid by the first plus i just paid like almost 3gs in bills.........fuck. so. i am calm. wildly calm. but what freaks me out. is that this too shall pass and through all of this chaos I just want. to see. the. friend. boy.

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