live to love...



Monday, March 7, 2011

break uppp..

so. after two weird weeks. the friend boy and i hugn out and after an ackward day of snowboarding and a night where i didnt stay. ( because he went to bed due to being grmpy and gassyyyy....) (oh and i stayed on the couch watching tv thingking he was reliveing his gassy self in the bathroom...)i felt like we were done. i criiiiiiied. o i cried. i love my friend boy. and so the next day i hear nothing. then i text him that im going to come by and get all my liquor... l response blah blah blah.. i text the roomie and theh friend boy texts... he says that thats fine and i should bring his sweatpants that i wore home and so i ask him if  this is the break up and he said he didnt want to do this over the phone. i cried some moreessss and then i put on my backless sweater, straightened my hair, put on my jeggins and my bad ass thigh high boots and went over to do it face to face. um. he left. so i broke up with the dog. and the roommate. they were crushed. like seriously.. they had no idea. the dog especially. poor thing. anyways so i told roomie that we had broken up and he was way confused and said goodbye. then fb and i conversed over texting and i told him how i felt and that if he could figure it out soon i would be there but i cant promise i will wait for him. and then he kept texting me. was i mad....no. was i drinking...no. well i wsant then i found coronas. and long island. aaaand patrone. and here i am! but then i had a voicemail and its HIM saying, hey sugar, im on my way home now call me because my phones about to die. WTF? so im so confused. im good. way good. like im not burning a break up cd or planning on visiting his job so i guess im not a psycho ex. im not sure what classifies one as such but im not going to be one. im just DEVESTATED that this wonderful boy is so fucked in the head he cant deal with normalcy. or me. bleh. uhm. and im not the norm normal but im not a bad girl friend i dont think. all my other exes have called and sent their regrets to me. so. who knows. all i know is my heart was bleeding from the ex husband but was returning to normal. and then after friend boy...i need stictches and staples. it hurts. muchos grande. i hope i get over this. he was so wonderful all the good times replay in my head and i grind my teeth and shut my eyes and dont cry dont cry dont cry. i love him. ugh. if its over. its over. i actually will be fine. im always fine.

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