live to love...

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

insanity. 03/03/11

i am going to go ahead and acknowledge that I am being far too emotional and basing decisions off of my emotions. i am not thinking with a clear head. however. there is a small little voice in my head that keeps warning me not to justify every action i am unpleased with. last time things didnt end up so well. but i (xoxo) immensly this friend boy and i know he works alot and cannot even be expected to just drop everything all the time to be with me when he isnt working. BUTTTT. >but. i am taking me a xanax whenever I have my melt downs about him not caring about me and remembering that i am freshly divorced and extra needy. shouldnt be in a relationship anyways. he pretty much just "happened". and i hate having feelings. blows. so he knows my heart is open to him and so i will live my life and when he wants to be a part of my life i will allow him to be. i just cant take crap or let someone walk all over me. ya know. part of me wonders if hes getting bored or scared or both. we. will. see. I HATE FEELINGS.

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