on one hand im sad. i want to curl up in bed and listen to the wind whistle through my swamp cooler and remember all of the times he kissed me, held my hand, touched my face, or just smiled with his gorgeous eyes. i want to remember the crazy sexy nights with our songs playing....him rubbing my back or my tummy and playing with my hair or my fingernails. then on the other i feel like there is no reason to be sad because it's not the end. is this dillusion or optimism? is it because my intuituion is whispering to me to let him be and he will come around? he wants to talk. thats for sure. i just want to be happy with him again. feeling his hug and being the reason he's smiling.