live to love...



Friday, April 29, 2011

tragic

i am so fucking angry. i keep putting myself in these situations with J but i dont know how to pull away. im frickin addicted to him. i am quitting drinking, and eating, and fb. all together. i will love on lettuce, cucumbers and coffee until i get to 130 and then im going to find me a new boy. i sure do love him with everything but im sure i can get over him. hes just a boy. and. he wont commit. and he "says" he isnt sleeping with anyone else but when i tell him that i will never speak to hium again if i find out otherwise he says, so as long as you dont find out?? fuck. this is the shit derrick would say. are all men alike? and he says he keeps coming back because we have amazing "S" together. well....thank you. thank you for wanting to be with my vagina. ass hole. so we were laying in bed and he says. i remember when i first met you . you were a twig...no? i mean you've gained a couple pounds....and then he wants to know why im lying there in silence. FIRST OF ALL> i hate you for talking about my weight. it isnt like im oblivious to a whopping 20 lb weight gain since OCT. i apologize. obviously you are a self proclaimed chubby chaser and im the chubby. fucking brilliant. then i tell him how when D, EX and i were together that he would pinch my fat and tell me what i should eat and how much tiume did i spend in the gym and how obviously since then I did everything opposite so it had an effect. OBVIOUSLY a weight gain effect. ew. im so frustrated.  so im a fat slob who allows fb to walk all the fuck over me. ew.

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