live to love...

Monday, October 31, 2011

i just. miss. him.

ever since I have come home from OR, there has been stuff. i was sick, I had court, I have worked, I went to a conference in Denver, I had two floor sets, I am now on the third, I have been interviewing and he has had ex wife drama, surgery, and then I found out I wasnt going to go to OR for my vaca. and I cried. I freaking was pissed off and angry. Now. today I am sad. my Papaw Cloyes died. Im more worried about my dad and aunts and uncle and also my other Pawpaw Gillis. if anything happens to him I dont know what I will do. hes like my dad. My mom depends on him so much that I think she would lose it. I also have something else thats been bothering me for 3 weeks but I cant talk about it. I cant wait to leave. I have so much going on in my life and decision and things....that I wish Limer and myself were able to just be NORMAL. fuck. i wana be NORMAL. im beginning to crack the fuck up. I want to either live there and work on it or fucking be done. im so aggrevated. he sent me a picture of him and his daughter and I just died. i miss him. i havent seen him in almost 2 months and i know we can make it because we obviously are, but i just adore him and I want to be around him. is it fucking WRONG:? is ITTTTT!?!??

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