live to love...



Friday, October 14, 2011

let it burn

my eyes sting and my heart breaks but sings. i feel single but taken. i feel complete. i feel happy. this is the first time i feel confident and not stressed. i know i no longer need validation to feel happy or that i mean a lot to someone. he went to surgery Mon. after a week of him having b. mama drama and pre surgery worries, we go to the following week with my newest most important floor set, his surgery, post surgery. and i feel fantastic. he doesnt text me. o well. hes fucking busy. i feel free. i dont stress that he doesnt "like me or care anymore". i feel....like its whatever. hes busy sleeping or medicating or watching his kids. i dont get all crazy and over think. then i think and i am so happy. this is what confidence feels like. this is what being yourself and not worrying feels like. im almost to the EXACT day i left the ex husband one year ago and i look where im at. how far ive come and what all i have accomplished and im fucking impressed. so happy. if you dont know me. probably no big deal. if you DO know me and you have seen this last year, its huge. my self esteem, job, schooling, finances, self worth, happiness, spiritual life....everything has grown. no doubt ive gone through some SUPER low lows., but you know what, the UPS outweigh the downs and im super impressed. AND AND AND. ive quit smoking. boo-yahh!!!=}

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