live to love...



Friday, November 11, 2011

never fucking mind

Door Mat no longer. I left Derrick and dated Zika for a little while and then i found Limer and its been Limer Limer Limer. i visited and its been great but the phone calls slowed down and the emails stopped and the texting REEEALLLLYYY slowed down. fuck being in a fantasy relationship. so we had fun. so hes a good guy over the phone and when i say it out loud. NOT fun to be sad about the holidays or just turning guys down left & fucking RIGHT to be faithful to a fucking voiceon the phone with no explicit boundaries. none. im so over this. i miss being held and loved and made to feel like I am important and worth something. I at LEAST once a month have sent him SOMETHING to scream i care about you and that you're a dad and you mean alot and i want to someday live near you and see if we can work. but i get nothing back. im not worth a fucking PHONECALL>>>>? the bye. God has someone in mind for me. I am too nice and too giving and a fun girl. i dont deserve to be ignored. and it hurts. o. so . bad but i would rather just be done and meet someone for me than let them pass me by because I am living in a FUCKING FANTASY. uuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhh. im so sad/mad.

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