live to love...

Monday, December 12, 2011

moving on

looking forward to moving home to a new job, new life, new car....this has been an incredibly hard year. full of learning and experience. i am looking forward to baby Eli, Gavin and Savanah!!! new friends/old friends. i cannot WAIIITTT!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

more more

no one knows in ohio really the true day.and i am so excited to be able to come home so so soon and just...APPEAR!! i cannot wait to leave so much behind me. everything. everything. i will get a new job/car/apartment. everything, i am starting OVER. i dont need a man to have a good life and i need to work on making myself happy. =] <3. ciao.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

sad ideas

i apparently invested more into Limer than he invested into me. i am so so sad. my heart is breaking. i dont want to let him go. hes been a part of my life for 6 months every single day. i dont WANT to let go. i wanted to be able to see him alot. today i parked next to a lincoln just like his and was 5 minutes late to work because i thought of every time i climbed into his car and how i just had fun because we were going on an adventure. every. time. im so soso so depressed. i'll get over it. i always do.


i had a dream that I was working with all the same people for a pizza place that work at VS and Glen walked in with his kids and a woman who ended up being the kis mom.....i was devastated but was trying to maintain my professional attitude when another guy looking JUST LIKE Glen walked in and said that the first Glen was his twin brother and that his twin had married his exwife/kids mother and i felt so weird but happy because he had come to see me. My mom had JUST bought a house here in CO and was on her way there and i wanted to tell her i was moving that buying a house here was a huge mistake. She got in though and her and Glen kept missing each other and then there was some weird stuff with my boss and co workers and then mom but it was a weird dream....i am sad that its been almost a week since ive even HEARD from Limer. he went to an OR ducks game and i havent heard from him since. im so fucking sad. im moving home now earlier and no one knows because its a humungo surprise, but GLime has been in my life since May and a constant every day thing since July 5th and im more than sad that i havent received a text or call. Just devastated. my hear hurts and i cant even cry thats how shocked and hurt i am. its awful. maybe my dream was telling me that hes complete now. idk. i just am a far fucking cry from ok right now. apparently he meant more to me than i meant to him. sad